ChiJoker's Testimonial to Human Progress

Va. Tech: Gunman student from S. Korea - Yahoo! News

2007-04-18T10:58:00.000+07:00

I guess America was busy worrying about the wrong Korea

Va. Tech: Gunman student from S. Korea - Yahoo! News

Girls Gone Wild Creator Ordered To Jail

2007-04-10T19:10:00.000+07:00

Girls Gone Wild Creator Ordered To Jail

or

Justice Sought for American Victims 22,313,420 through 22,313,427

In yet another non-event, anything short of castration itself will not be suitable to the American appetite for revenge... er, I mean justice.

For those fortunate masses living outside the US, a series of videos collectively entitled "Girls Gone Wild" has been quite a success for the past few years, mostly by advertising in the middle of the night by peddling the dream of endless, attractive flesh to lonely male hearts. It certainly must have worked, because Joe Francis, the one who started this series, sold a lot of copies, netting close to US$30 million/year doing this business. That probably makes at least a million DVDs purchased per year, not counting the number of copies that were dubbed off.

The most ingenious part of the deal? The "actresses" went unpaid, since all he was doing was capturing their public displays of nudity during spring breaks, Mardi Gras, bar mitzvah, whatever occasion these stupid women felt that they could get away with acting out through their inner slut.

So it was years of success all around - this guy making handfuls of cash, the girls reaching brief fame, the American male achieving non-chemical arousal - but finally, the American public woke up and felt dirty about all this. To cleanse itself, eight girls were quickly identified that were underage at the time of their public nudity (think 17 years old here) - yes, these same eight girls that had signed release forms stating that they were consenting adults. If true, this makes for a criminal matter, but we simply fast forward to the juicy part of justice: money. Even the fast forward isn't fast enough, because before a civil court has even ruled on this issue, the public has already cast its vote against him, perhaps making this guy even more hated than Sanjaya.

This idiot should have realized that the only thing that Americans hate more than pornography is the success of others.

Postscript: the linked article above is from The Onion, a satirical magazine, so the "man on the street" responses are simply a joke - the litigation is not.

Net 2.0.1: DieSpace

2007-04-06T09:21:00.000+07:00

An article (subscription required) in the latest issue of the Atlantic (May 2007) discusses the trend of group suicide in Japan:

During my first two weeks in Japan, five cars filled with dead bodies were discovered in the woods around Tokyo.

There have been many articles and even a fictional film about the phenomenon. This story cites the trend's inception around 1998:

In 1997... Japan was merely average when it came to suicide. As in France and Germany, there were then about 17 suicides per 100,000 people… [t]hen 1998 saw something of a suicide surge — to 27 per 100,000... Each year more than 30,000 Japanese destroy themselves. That's roughly four times the number who die in traffic accidents.

Since that time, the suicide rate has been steadily rising and breaking records. Pathetic stories abound of people searching for someone to die with.

Apparently, without a global war in which to channel their energies, the Japanese people have little to do with themselves outside of raping those asking for it and those not, whaling and fishing aquatic life to near extinction, buying used panties, and other such pearls. (Who does PR for these guys anyway?)

Given Japan's declining birth rate and its hatred of non-Japanese, the country may soon be just a collection of dead cities filled with robots. Maybe Sony has tapped into something here. By 2040, the chief concern of leaders throughout the region will be whether the Japanese Robo-Lords will demand robot comfort women. China had better start production soon, and others would do well to pay close attention to this upcoming film and determine possible strategies of these Robo-Japanese.

OK, back on point here: why do they really do it? According to the Atlantic:

Suicide, which Shakespeare called "self-slaughter" and which is known in Christian teaching as "the sin against the Holy Ghost," occupies a very different place in the imagination of the West than it does in Japan, where self-disembowelment with a specialized blade has long been considered a proper response to shame or dishonor.

Japan has a long history of families committing suicide together, as well as suicides by cults and militaristic groups, including kamikaze pilots, or samurai warriors who suffered dishonor and hoped to wipe the slate clean. What is shocking about the new suicide epidemic is not so much that it is a group activity as that people are choosing to kill themselves together with total strangers.

It becomes another case of cultural divergence: where the West sees (and fears) death as a primary failure of life, the East sees the actual failure as not dying subsequent to failure. There is no room for second acts in Japanese thought.

What does this mean to you? Well, so far, this bit of Eastern nihilism has not yet appeared on other shores, so for those hearty trendsetters looking to score points with their friends, the Atlantic article contains a pretty detailed account of the process: charcoal burners, sealed rooms/automobiles, and the desired result of you and your MySpace buddies asphyxiating.

It may not be all that bad - for some, it beats living in Japan.

Adult magazines, juvenile nation

2007-04-05T17:02:00.000+07:00

"The road which we will take is refiling the complaint not only against Playboy but also against other adult magazines," Munarman, a lawyer representing Muslim groups, told reporters. More on this

What did we learn from this exercise?

Adult magazines are not welcome in this juvenile nation
After a colossal loss by the prosecution, they will choose to redouble their efforts and widen the scope
The Indonesian public is clearly bored as this issue has well exceeded their attention span

Herald.com | 03/25/2005 | Schiavo's parents: Terri tried to speak last week

2005-03-26T10:33:00.000+07:00

It was only a matter of time before the true believers made everyone see how nutty they really are.
Herald.com | 03/25/2005 | Schiavo's parents: Terri tried to speak last week: "''I promise you, if she dies, there's going to be hell to pay with pro-life, pro-family, Republican people of various legislative levels, both statewide and federally, who have used pro-life, pro-family, conservative rhetoric to get into power, and then when they have the power they refuse to use it,'' he said."

Bush gives back to the health insurance industry

2005-01-28T07:31:00.000+07:00

Lack of health insurance and spiraling health care costs are minor issues - the real concern for the health care consumer is consolidation of their records for access by the health insurance industry

President Bush said today he wants every American to have an electronic medical record within the next 10 years, and so has pledged to increase funding next year to $125 million for demonstration projects to test the effectiveness of health information technology.
According to the White House, most American industries are spending approximately $8,000 per worker for IT, but the health care industry is investing only $1,000 per employee.

To help defray the increased IT costs, consumers can also look forward to faith-based initiatives like praying and wishing things away.
More

Suspension + remedial Geography classes

2005-01-27T23:53:00.000+07:00

Out of respect for the tsunami victims, the customary free pass to racist black Americans has been suspended as well

The Miss Jones morning show on hip-hop radio station Hot-97 has been yanked off the air amid growing outrage over a twisted tsunami parody song even the boss called "indefensible."
Emmis Radio, which owns Hot-97 (WQHT), said yesterday Jones, whose real name is Tasha Nicole Jones, and her team have been "indefinitely suspended," an action critics called belated and insufficient.

Some hilarity from this cheeky ditty, focused as it is on the non-existent suffering of "chinks" and "Chinamen" who were thousands of miles from the tsunami itself:

There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan.
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away.
And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks.
And no one was saved from the wave.
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away.
You can hear God laughing 'Swim you bitches, swim.'
[Chorus]
So now you're screwed. It's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss you ass away, go find your mommy.
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
And now your children will be sold - child slavery.

Why the to-do? It's so funny!!!
More here and here

Token ring is a state secret

2005-01-27T23:47:00.000+07:00

We also know that al Qaeda is ruthlessly pursuing the purchase of an AS/400...

In what would be the biggest overseas acquisition by a Chinese company, Lenovo announced in December to takeover IBM's US-based PC division for US$1.75bn.
But three Republican congressmen called for a full security review of the sale this week, saying that the proposed transaction could result in advanced US technology and corporate assets falling into Chinese government hands.

Seems like old times

2005-01-27T23:39:00.000+07:00

Gather up the comfort women and welcome the troops!

Two Japanese military hovercraft roared ashore in Aceh Province on Thursday as Japan began its largest overseas military operation since World War II.

Unbreakable, sort of

2005-01-27T06:00:00.000+07:00

Great - more ideas for al Queda
At Least 10 Are Killed as Trains Derail in California

Father defends retarded son

2005-01-23T11:43:00.000+07:00

Bush's Father Warns Against Extrapolating From Speech (washingtonpost.com)

Fat Bastard's Mini-Mac

2005-01-23T11:39:00.000+07:00

Fat bastard seeks love outside of food by puchasing expensive paperweight - next time, go to Thailand

I'm definitely not one to shop till you drop, but I snapped up a Mini Mac on Saturday morning--at a mall, no less. You know, just to feel good.

FBI: Magic Eight-Ball malfunction

2005-01-22T07:42:00.000+07:00

FBI terror hotline available 24x7 at 1-800-BIRDDOG
Boston Terror Threat May Be Fabrication
Functioning magic eight-ball (for future FBI use)

Bush stoned again

2005-01-22T07:29:00.000+07:00

This time it was with Muslim help...
Many Pilgrims Stone 'Devil' Bush in Haj Ritual

Al Qaeda lays off 2,000 workers, outsources to China

2005-01-22T04:51:00.000+07:00

You want dirty bomb? I make you dirty bomb, cheap-cheap!

US authorities in Boston, Massachusetts, are looking for an additional 10 people, at least half of them Chinese, in an unspecified potential threat against the city.

Science cancelled again this year

2005-01-22T04:33:00.000+07:00

Scientific debate has been cancelled once again this year, resulting in the fifth such occurrence in as many years:

The newspaper said Mr. Summers repeatedly warned audience members that he would "provoke" them, and he did. Some female scholars walked out when Mr. Summers offered speculation about why there are small numbers of women in high-level posts in math, science and engineering at most universities.

Some in attendance said Mr. Summers noted that fewer girls than boys achieve top scores in math and science tests in the late high school years. He said no one is sure why, but several listeners said he explained that women lack the "innate" or "natural" ability of men in some fields.

"Despite reports to the contrary, I did not say, nor do I believe, that girls are intellectually less able than boys, or that women lack the ability to succeed at the highest levels of science," Mr. Summers said on the Web site last night, reiterating earlier comments.

However, the Globe said Mr. Summers told a reporter that he 'might have made some reference to innate differences' between the sexes. He explained that new research shows genetics is more important than socialization as a barometer of scholastic achievement.

Panel rebukes Harvard president - The Washington Times: Nation/Politics - January 20, 2005

Bush sworn in, vows to end tyranny

2005-01-22T03:57:00.000+07:00

Clarification is being requested as to whether he meant he vowed to end his own tyranny or that of others
Bush sworn in, vows to end tyranny

MSNBC - Bush salute a Satan sign? Norwegians think so

2005-01-22T03:50:00.000+07:00

Silly Scandanavians - we all know that Ronnie James Dio is a UT alum.

Bush salute a Satan sign? Norwegians think so

Our last hurrah

2005-01-17T14:21:00.000+07:00

The naysayers have been heard, and their individual names have been taken down as well...

Despite the deteriorating security situation in Iraq, the Bush Administration has not reconsidered its basic long-range policy goal in the Middle East: the establishment of democracy throughout the region. Bush’s reëlection is regarded within the Administration as evidence of America’s support for his decision to go to war. It has reaffirmed the position of the neoconservatives in the Pentagon’s civilian leadership who advocated the invasion, including Paul Wolfowitz, the Deputy Secretary of Defense, and Douglas Feith, the Under-secretary for Policy. According to a former high-level intelligence official, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld met with the Joint Chiefs of Staff shortly after the election and told them, in essence, that the naysayers had been heard and the American people did not accept their message. Rumsfeld added that America was committed to staying in Iraq and that there would be no second-guessing.

“This is a war against terrorism, and Iraq is just one campaign. The Bush Administration is looking at this as a huge war zone,” the former high-level intelligence official told me. “Next, we’re going to have the Iranian campaign. We’ve declared war and the bad guys, wherever they are, are the enemy. This is the last hurrah—we’ve got four years, and want to come out of this saying we won the war on terrorism.”

More...

Apple Makes Tiny Steps For the Masses (washingtonpost.com)

2005-01-12T14:16:00.000+07:00

More amazing than the price tag on the new sub-$500 Macs is the fact that Apple has reconsidered the need for a keyboard, monitor and mouse:

"'We want to price this Mac so that people who are thinking of switching will have no more excuses,' said Jobs, as he showed off the new Mac mini, a tiny, silver-and-gray box smaller than some laptops. It will go on sale Jan. 22 for $499 and $599, depending on processor speed and hard drive size.

'This is the most affordable Mac ever; in fact, it's the cheapest computer Apple has ever offered,' Jobs said.

Neither model will include a keyboard, mouse or display -- Apple expects customers to bring their own, possibly by using whatever came with the PC already at home."

Apple Makes Tiny Steps For the Masses (washingtonpost.com)

I sometimes wonder if Scott still thinks about me

2005-01-04T01:43:00.000+07:00

Apparently she has never seen Cape Fear:

Scott Peterson's former mistress confesses in a book to be released this week that she "still thinks about Scott from time to time." She also confesses that "I sometimes wonder if he thinks about me."

New York Daily News - Breaking News - Amber: I sometimes wonder if Scott still thinks about me

US Group Inks Deal to Import Chinese Cars

2005-01-03T14:27:00.000+07:00

Introducing the 2005 Kungfugo - HAI-YAAAHH!!!

Bricklin got his start in the auto industry by importing tiny Subarus to the United States in the 1960s. He is best known for importing the Yugo, a cheap hatchback sedan, into the United States from communist-led Yugoslavia beginning in the mid-1980s.

More here

"Bride and Prejudice" star mulls screen kiss

2005-01-03T04:35:00.000+07:00

The punchline is: "...unless by 'being extremely or overtly physically demonstrative' you mean begging for money or trying to sell you a suit"

"It would definitely be a topic of discussion. ... They're going to enjoy (talking about it). ... In (Indian) society, you don't really see people around the street corner kissing or being extremely or overtly physically demonstrative," she said.

http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=647410

Neil will follow up with a tour of ravaged Bangkok later

2005-01-01T02:37:00.000+07:00

Of the royal family, Jeb appears to have the most extensive background in brown people and big-wave-type thingees:
Bush also is sending Secretary of State Colin Powell to Indian Ocean coastal areas ravaged by earthquake and tsunami to assess what more the United States needs to do. The president's brother, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, will travel with him.

More on this story

More about Neil's deep knowledge of Thailand which lends rich irony to the Junior's spearhead against sex tourism

Transmigrasi: The Next Generation

2005-01-01T01:40:00.000+07:00

Rebuilding for a brighter future in a new pro-Indonesian Aceh - you can almost hear the asphalt being laid over the dead and wounded as we speak:

Indonesian authorities have drawn up a five year plan to rebuild the cities and villages in Aceh.A national disaster taskforce set up in Jakarta is co-ordinating the massive humanitarian effort to distribute aid to the tens of thousands of survivors left homeless by the deadly tsunamis. Taskforce director Emil Agustiano says it will be years before Aceh returns to what it was, and much will depend on donor nations such as Australia. "The first one year is for emergency, then the next will be for rehabilitation, and then maybe the next three or five years will be construction," he said.

http://www.abc.net.au/ra/news/stories/s1274631.htm

NPR : More Than 1,000 German Tourists Missing in Thailand

2005-01-01T01:17:00.000+07:00

Has anyone bothered to check Thermae on Soi Sukhumvit at around 1AM?

NPR : More Than 1,000 German Tourists Missing in Thailand

Hey, is Great White still touring?

2005-01-01T01:07:00.000+07:00

C'mon baby light my fi-yah...

A fire tore through a Buenos Aires nightclub packed with young New Year's revelers and killed at least 175 people as a stampeding crowd was trapped by locked exit doors, officials said Friday.
At least 714 people were injured in the Thursday night blaze, thought to have been caused by a flare that was fired during a rock concert and sent burning debris onto the crowd of up to 4,000 people, who desperately fought to flee.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=worldNews&storyID=7215077

Wow - just like Star Wars!

2004-12-31T23:00:00.000+07:00

Use the force and land that baby:

According to a study published by the Federal Aviation Administration in June, there have been hundreds of laser-in-the-cockpit incidents, many pre-dating the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Lasers have hurt at least two pilots, one a SkyWest Airlines captain who suffered multiple flash burns to his cornea in 1996 after he was beamed by a mysterious laser over Los Angeles.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/31/nyregion/31laser.html

Censhorship at 40Gbps

2004-12-28T05:34:00.000+07:00

China follows up on launching the first (Chinese) man into space with the first-ever implementation of IPv6 network (in China):

CERNET2 is the biggest next-generation Internet network in operation in the world and connects 25 universities in 20 cities. The speed in the backbone network reaches 2.5 to 10 gigabits per second and connects the universities at a speed of 1 to 10 gigabits per second.

A trial on CERNET2 between Beijing and Tianjin on December 7 achieved a speed of 40 gigabits per second, the highest in the world in real applications.

As expected, through strict adherence to socialist principles, the individual packets during a recent trial above worked together to reach a speed of 40Gbps, 4x faster than the maximum speed possible with this network. We will expect to see many more miraculous events to be posted on China Daily soon.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-12/27/content_403512.htm

Drinking and oral sex don't mix

2004-12-28T01:53:00.000+07:00

Apparently fun angers God:

Exposure to alcohol makes mouth cells more susceptible to HIV infection during oral sex, research has shown.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4123193.stm

UN's great humanitarian works, now available on video

2004-12-28T01:04:00.000+07:00

Wow - think of the post-tsunami possibilities in cleaning up Thailand and Sri Lanka. Watch out girls (and little boys)...

The prospect of the pornographic videos and photographs — now on sale in Congo — becoming public worries senior UN officials, who fear a UN version of the scandal at the American-run Abu Ghraib jail in Iraq. “It would be a pretty big problem for the UN if these pictures come out,” one senior official said.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1413501,00.html

Say hello to God for us, Reggie

2004-12-26T15:01:00.000+07:00

If you were correct, you will see God dancing around an overcrowded heaven, enjoying a great ROI while watching TV on his watch. If you weren't correct, He may greet you with a giant assfucking:

When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.

White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.

Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They're very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.

When you put all of that together, guess what it makes. It forms a complete image of God.

http://my.execpc.com/~dross/aw/regwhite.html

Over the top, part 2

2004-12-11T04:33:00.000+07:00

Sammy sez: "... loser (me) takes the fall..."

Over the top, part 1

2004-12-11T04:28:00.000+07:00

Sammy sez: "Winner takes it all..."

A revolution in parenting

2004-12-08T22:08:00.000+07:00

A great leap away from archaic concepts of parenting that demand guidance and discipline:

After begging and pleading with their 17-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter to help out around the house, the Barnards decided they were fed up. So they went on strike — and moved out to the front yard.

MSNBC - Fed-up parents strike over kids' laziness

The natives are making me restless

2004-12-03T18:27:00.000+07:00

China addressing HIV

2004-12-03T18:11:00.000+07:00

Time to check in on Xinhua newsfeed:

HIV-infected pregnant women in Guangzhou are expected to receive free medication in a government move to prevent mother-to-child transmission of the virus, Shenzhen Daily reported Friday.

Medication to consist of iron and other alloys administered by a crack team of PRC Army sharpshooters.

Xinhua - English

A big "howdy" from Billdo

2004-12-03T18:07:00.000+07:00